Babyjames

Jennis226 - 07:57pm May 2, 2012 EST

On February 11th my little miracle was born. He was born 12 weeks early. I have been trying to have a baby since my early twenties. I am now 40. I have endometriosis so it has always been difficult. At the end of 2010 I had cysts rupture in my stomach. My doctor put my right ovarie back into place. Six months later I couldn't believe it when my cycle was late and the pregnancy test was positive. (my dream come true) unfortunately it ended in a miscarriage. Two months later I was pregnant again. I can't begin to say how scared I was. I patiently counted down each day. In the beginning of my second trimester I started to bleed. All I can think was not again. Please God don't let this happen. I was rushed to the hospital. When I heard that tiny heartbeat I was so relieved. I was told I had complete placenta Previa. After that I was watched very closely. I was hospitalized in January. The beginning of my 7th month I started to bleed again. Do to my condition I was told I was not going home,they were going to keep me until my due date. My little miracle held on two more weeks,than could not wait any longer my placenta started to tear. I kept thinking this is to soon. He is not ready to be born. I had no choice an emergency c section was done. When I was told my son was brought to the nicu and I wouldn't be able to see him until later that night I was so upset. I wanted my son to know I was there with him and we would get thru this together. Pain and all I basically ran to the nicu so I can give the nurses my colostrum every chance I could so they could swab his mouth. On valentine day I was told he had a moderate to large PDA. Because he was so feisty they had to put him on fentanyl and was incubated on the oscillator. I was so afraid. I spent every possible moment by my sons incubator until I could not keep them open. I prayed and kept my faith that he would be okay. The best day of my life was when they asked me if I wanted to hold him. Than I spent most days and nights kangaroo caring and pumping as much breast milk as I can. To all the moms out there. My son went from a cpap to being incubated on a respirator,oscillator,back to respirator, cpap than finally a nasal cannula.Please hang in there and spend as much time at your baby's side as possible. And please do kangaroo care. I truly believed it help. They also say it is a roller coaster ride. That statement is definitely not exaggerated because that is truly what it felt like. Finally 63 days later me and my little miracle are finally home.