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JULIA'S STORY

[sophia, baby]
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baby sophia

May 2013
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3 WEEKS

Jul 07, 2012 08:55pm (EST)

The 3 week mark has now passed since sophia was born. My body has moved on and I can put on a strong face however inside I am still hurting. Not a second goes by I dont think of her. Luckily my father had all the clot removed and is now home so there is one less thing to worry about. The healing process is a step by step however i dont know how to tell people who dont know yet that one i had her and two that she died. I still get congratulations facebook from old friends. I just say thank you unable to tell them or even know how to tell them. Are there any suggestions on how to approach this issue.
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Posted by baby sophia | Comments: (2) | Permalink
WHAT ELSE COULD GO WRONG..

Jul 05, 2012 07:04pm (EST)

So once again my family is getting kicked while we are down. Before i lost baby sophia we had been having some good old bad luck. My sister who is older than me had dived into a pool in texas and cracked her skull open. She was lucky she only needed 19 stiches and didnt injure her spine. My father was in a car accident about a month ago and now this past week went into the hospital with back pain and the doctors discovered he has another blood clot. He had his first clot last august and it has now returned. I just dont know how much more i can take before i break. its one thing to go thorugh pain and loss when everything else is still going good but when everyone i care about are having major medical issues and some life threatening injuries i cant take it.
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Posted by baby sophia | Comments: (2) | Permalink
VACATION

Jun 27, 2012 10:08pm (EST)

I am on my way home to my parents house for a week of vacation.. It is so needed to just be around family and have the support. I will also be seeing my sister who lives in texas and hasnt seen me since last christmas. I am also going to be seeing all of my parents friends and family for the first time since sophia died. I am dreading haing to re-explain all that happened but think it will be good for me and for my healing to get it all over with in one visit.
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Posted by baby sophia | Comments: (3) | Permalink
WORK....

Jun 26, 2012 01:04am (EST)

So its only been 10 days since Sophia passed and I had to return to work. I was called the day after her viewing at the funeral home and told my office was so understaffed that they needed me to come back today. We only just recieved her ashes this afternoon. It was so hard to even just concentrate at work. All I could think about was my baby girl. I tried to stay strong but when my husband texted me telling me her ashes were ready I lost it. Thankfully my office let me leave after that so I could come home with my husband with her ashes. I am just so thankful to have her back with us. Waiting almost a week from the viewing until today was excrutiating. The best part is both my husband and I got necklaces that have a small amount of her ashes inside them. I feel more connected to her knowing she is always with me and right by my heart.
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Posted by baby sophia | Comments: (9) | Permalink
SOPHIA ANN WEST

Jun 25, 2012 01:21am (EST)

It has been just over a week since our first child Sophia Ann was born and passed away. Sophia was 23 weeks when she was born on June 14th 2012 at 11:44pm. Within 12 hours of the first sign of premature labor Sophia was born weighing 1 lb. 1 oz. and 10 1/2 inches long. The labor process was the scariest experience I have even been through. I guess I will start at the beginning. I am the kind of person who has always never wanted to seem stupid for complaining about anything that could be nothing. I woke up Thursday morning and noticed what seemed to me to be my mucus plug come out when I went to the bathroom. However there was no blood or cramps so I went online to get information. I found out that sometimes the mucus plug can come out but can regrow and without blood or cramps isn't something to be worried about so I went into work. A few hours latr some mild pink mucus started to appear. I was worried but still didnt have any cramps. Within the next hours the cramps appeard and I called the hospital. They didnt seem alarmed but told me to come in anyways for observation. My husband left work and drove me to the hospital. On the ride I started contracting more and more. We got to the hospital by 3 pm and were left in a room for 2 hours while I was contracting every 7 minutes. I was transfered to another room and on the walk over began to bleed a lot. The exam was finally done and I was told that the bag of fluid was protruding and my water was going to break soon. They told us that there was absolutely no hope for survival at 23 weeks. Thankfully another doctor was brought in who had more experience and took contol. I was given a shot to stop the contractions and an ultrasound. I was then placed in the tredelenburg position with my legs higher than my head to hopefully let the bag of fluid return past the cervix so a cerclage could be put in. Unfortunetly nothing worked and the contractions returned after 3-4 hours and with a vengenance. I went from contracting every ten minutes to every 2-3 minutes within a half hour. I was once again given the shot which didnt work the second time. The hospital I was in did not have a NICU unit. I pray everyday that I have my husban becaue he fought with all he had to get me transferred. Once tranferred I was in the hospital for a total of 13 minutes and my baby girl Sophia was born. The NICU unit immediately went to work. Sophia was given 3 shots of epinephrine to get her heart rate up as well as a needle inserted into her chest to relieve air pressure in her chest cavity due to a pneumothorax. After 30 minutes she was transferred from the delivery room to the NICU. After 2 hours we were told she was stable and doing better than ever expected for a baby born at 23 weeks. For the next 9 hours she was given a chest tube since the needle was not working enough to relieve the air pressure, an ultrasound to see if there was bleeding in her brain, as well as numerous attempts to get a second central line of IV in with out success. We were eventually told that she was'nt going to survive because she was having trouble getting rid of the CO2 and her blood was in a acidosis state for the 9 hours decreasing the amount of O2 being delivered to her brain. We choose to take her off the ventilator and hold her for the last few minutes of her short life. Sophia was such a fighter that her heart continued to beat for 30 minutes after removing the ventilator. I never got to look into my daughters eyes and she never got to see me or her father. But we know she felt our love and she fought with everything she had. I love my baby girl and always will.


2012-06-15 15


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Posted by baby sophia | Comments: (8) | Permalink

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