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Angel Love

June 2013

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REASSESSMENT

Aug 28, 2011 10:09pm (EST)

Okay---so my last post was the sadness of my heart as my daughter adjusted to a new school. I'm happy to say that in reassessing the situation---she's doing much better!

Things aren't great, but she's making new friends and understands that it's going to take time to feel as comfy there as she did at our old school.

Our new schedule is more than overwelming to me....7:30-5:00 four days a week. Sounds pretty good considering that Mondays are "free days", but since school started, I've had training on Mondays. Even though there are lots of people who work till 5:00 each day, there are few who don't get a lunch break away from their job. Makes for interesting days in paying bills, getting haircuts, etc.

Next week, Ansley starts tennis! I'm hoping that this will be a great outlet for her and that she'll really enjoy it. It breaks my heart that she doesn't follow her momma's footsteps and play softball, but at least this is active and if she enjoys it....I'm happy! Who knows....this might lead to a scholarship in her future!

In other news....high school football kicked off this past Friday and next week kicks off college football for the SEC! You girls know how my heart flutters at the thought of college football so be ready for my silliness! .....for Jackie, let's have a moment of silence as her hubby is a referee and stays quite busy this time of year....

In true Tracy fashion and with full southern drawl.....

GOOOOOOO DAWGS!!!!!!

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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (7) | Permalink

DAY 2

Aug 10, 2011 12:41am (EST)

Okay---so most of you know that Ansley and I are at a different school this year. This move was not by either of our choosing, but was happening all the same.

Day 1 was okay....

Ansley's teacher from last year also got transferred to this school so she is going to have Ansley again this year (she changed grades). This helped TREMENDOUSLY on the first day---to have the familiar face in a strange surrounding. For Ansley, I'd give Day 1 two thumbs up.

For me----Not so great.... Don't get me wrong, the children were fine, but the first few weeks are always difficult as you get everyone accustomed to the new procedures and "ways of life", and when you're not sure about the procedures outside of your classroom either.....it's TOUGH! I had that chaotic, out of control feeling all day long. By the end of the day, I was EXHAUSTED!!!

Now for Day 2....

From a teaching perspective -- MUCH better!

From a mommy perspective --Not good

!! Ansley had mentioned several times over the weekend that she missed her friends from her old school. I always reminded her that they can come over to play sometime and turned the conversation to some of the fun things that she told me about her new friends. Well, that seemed to "fix" the problem, but today she just wasn't herself. She was super quiet and held my hand all the way to school......then when it was time to go to class she wanted me to walk her again. I did only to get to her door and the brakes were locked!! When I looked down she was crying!!

Seriously, I can not take it when my baby isn't happy because of me, and I take this move as "my fault" even though it wasn't my choice. She went on in after her teacher came to reassure her that she was nervous too, and was fine the rest of the day, but I was off to a tearful start at that point too. My boss came to my classroom about 30 minutes later and said that she was doing great and was smiling and spoke to him when he went into the classroom. I was happy to hear that, but my heart breaks for her still.......

Preemie problem?? Maybe---I think I'm way more protective of her after all that she's gone through than I might be if she'd not been so close to death in the beginning, but maybe it's just momma being momma and has nothing to do with it.

If your the "praying kind", please remember us as we adjust to our new surroundings. The school is a GREAT SCHOOL, but it's all new and change is so hard!!

Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (9) | Permalink

NO SUBJECT....

Aug 02, 2011 12:58am (EST)

I don't have a "title" or subject for this entry, and yes, I know I never downloaded the pics from graduation....Sorry! I'm hoping to get to that in the near future, but many of you know how "near" my "near future" is.

My brain is somewhat scattered over the last week and I guess that's going to be obvious in this entry....

First of all, I go back to work tomorrow. I'm walking into a new school and a new school year and I'm not really excited about it. Now don't get me wrong....I REALLY enjoy being a lazy bum so I enjoy my days off, but I usually handle the new year with a tingle of excitement at having structure to life again. This year, not so much. I'm scared! Why in the world am I scared after 14 years of the same job? I'm only changing buildings, not states, not grade levels, not counties......I'm seriously freaked out though.

I worry about Ansley's adjustment to the new school. Thankfully her teacher from last year also had to transfer and will be her teacher again this year. (Huge thanks to my new boss!!) I want her to have a great set of friends through her school years and now she's having to start over. Hopefully the transition will be easier for her than it is for me.

In a few weeks, I'll be starting on my Specialist degree. I know! I know!! I just finished my Master's program, but if I don't keep going, I'll never go back. Two years and two degrees seems doable to me right now.

The exciting ideas that are floating around all center around Shareunion!! I can't wait to meet up with all of my Share girls (and James and hopefully Dr. Berns!) and hang out, but with that comes the planning too! I need a huge notepad that hangs on the wall like in my classroom with all of the "to do" lists that are rolling around in my poor little brain.

I know that I just rambled out a few paragraphs and probably made a bunch of you grit your teeth and roll your eyes, but hey--I can't help it!

.....and I'll try to do better with the camer downloads.

Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (9) | Permalink

BIG ENOUGH...

Jul 17, 2011 03:36pm (EST)

I find that even now, at age 8, I tell Ansley that she's not "big enough" to do some things. Many of these things are simply because I don't like cleaning up major spills or peeling a hyper child off the wall from too much sugar, but some of these things are because I'm afraid for her.

Last week, she and her dad went to Six Flags for a fun day of riding rides and hanging out with friends. Well....many of the "thrill rides" have a minimum of 54" for height requirements. Yes--FIFTY FOUR INCHES!!!! Needless to say, I thought that they'd spend most of the day in the kiddie section of the park and call it a day.......

.....Um NO! She called at lunchtime reporting to me that she'd ridden the biggest ride there!!! It's called Acrophobia---check it out online....it's so much fun, but my baby was up there!!!

She loved every single ride there and returned home at midnight!!

Can you be proud and sad at the same time?? My baby rode the rides that was made for adults and walked past her friend who is 11 and several adults to get on the rides. (Her friend was too afraid...

) She screamed and held on tight and had the best time!! At the same time.....she's not my tiny girl who needed me at every turn.

I know that time can't stand still or I would miss out on all the great things to come, but boy when I think of the days that she fit in my lap for nighttime rocks, and the silly little ways that she'd say things I just want to go back for just a few minutes.

Sorry....no pics of the day because I wasn't invited for the fun, but trust me, the sound of her voice when she called to tell me, showed me a great big smile on that little girl's face!!

My how time flies.....

Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (11) | Permalink

RAT RACE

Jul 10, 2011 03:31pm (EST)

My life has been very much a rat race the past month. It all started with the news of moving schools, then continued with completing my Master's program, Ansley's cheer camp, Ansley's birthday, Taylor's death date, and vacation....

Thankfully, we're finding time to breathe and slow down a bit now. I don't have any appts. or "must dos" this coming week at all....

I'm even making time to go out with friends to a movie and dinner this week. How about that??!

Let's start with the most important part of June....the girls' birthday!!! Although it's always bittersweet, we managed to celebrate the best way we know how!!

Ansley wanted a "beach party", but unfortunately the pool liner was torn and unable to be replaced without a complete new liner....SO---last minute changes saved the day!! Ansley invited a few friends over for a slumber party and the rest of the family came another day for a party. She was super happy with everything, but like us....I'm sure she wished her sister was part of the festivities here.

The following week, we quickly made preparations for our vacation and headed to the beach for a week!! We always go with my entire family which has its perks and sometimes its negative effects as well.

My nephews are 7 and 3 and are live wires!!! Throw Ansley in the mix and sometimes I just wanted to run away screaming. They had a great time and were totally not wanting to come home.

Now, I have a few weeks to breathe....before I begin my next degree program and also my new year of children at my new "beep".

(No, Shannon, that wasn't a typo...students return on the 5th of AUGUST!!

) I'm just going to try and relax for a few weeks and enjoy some time without deadlines.

I hope that the rest of you are enjoying your summer!!

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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (6) | Permalink

JULY????!!!!!!!

Jul 09, 2011 03:36pm (EST)

When did July sneak up on us???? I tell ya...time flies when you don't need it to!

There is so much to update on, but most updates require pics too so I'll save the bulk of the updates for tomorrow when I get a chance to unpack things a bit.

Here's a preview....

June 26th---Ansley and Taylor's BIRTHDAY!! Yep--again!!!

June 27th---Taylor's death date

....and my Capstone Presentation for my Master's degree.

Week of the 4th---VACATION!!! Ahhh....time sure flew then!

Upcoming events....

Dr.'s appts. for both of us....just checkups, but---UGH!!

SUMMER BREAK!!!!!

Girls' day out to movie and dinner! (like grown-up girls...not kids! Shoot, I'll bet the movie won't even be a cartoon!!)

We won't talk about what comes at the beginning of next month. It's a "dirty word" and not Share friendly.... SCH__L. Let's just call it "BEEP" like they do on TV.

OCTOBER-----SHAREUNION 2011!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you're all coming!!!! Save the dates! (October 21-23)

Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (3) | Permalink

HELP WANTED

Jun 24, 2011 02:57pm (EST)

I'll say it again.....HELP WANTED!!!!

As most of you know, Share is a site that it run by volunteers and new volunteers are always welcome!!

We all remember those early days of preemie life, NICU days, and for some-- heartbreak. Some of us are now exploring uncharted territory with older children. No matter what age group your child falls into, your "expertise" regarding your own situation is helpful to others.

If you're thankful for Share and the understanding that you found here, please consider being a volunteer! The Community Blog http://www.shareyourstory.org/webx/Share%20Home/Community%20Center/The%20Share%20Community%20Blog/ as well as the Home Page have contact information for you to do just that!

I look forward to new volunteers helping to make Share the best site ever!! You won't be sorry!!

Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (3) | Permalink

BUSY SCHEDULES AND MORE TO COME

Jun 15, 2011 01:20am (EST)

I can't tell you how FULL my little brain has been lately. I have always heard the brain described as a "filing cabinet" that has specific files to hold all of your knowledge. These files are there when you need them and are all well organized.

I'm pretty sure that my file cabinet has tipped over and all of the files are laying in a heap all mixed together and unorganized now!

My Master's program is almost over which means that final papers, capstones, and presentations are due in the next two weeks. For this....I haven't even procrastinated as usual, but there's NO down time at all. I am required to present work samples with some of these assignments, which are all packed away in boxes at another elementary school. Not helpful at all when we've been asked to stay out of the building until the end of July. I'm sure it'll all work out, but not as easily as walking to a shelf and picking it up!

Father's Day is coming up. My dad has specifically pointed out what he wanted "if" I was planning to get him something. (Why do dads think that we're not???) He points it out every time I go to that particular store with him....sooo...that gift is taken care of. However, Ansley's dad is another story. Is it my place, no, but Ansley loves her dad tons and he's a good daddy so we'll go exploring the mens' department this week to find the right thing for her to give her dad.

Now....deep breath.....the birthday! My babies are almost EIGHT! WHAT????

That means that we also have to plan a birthday party, get a gift (that won't break the bank), order a cake, get the decorations, order Taylor's flower arrangement.....so much to do, so little time!!

For those who didn't read an earlier blog, my most important presentation...the capstone of the entire program is scheduled for June 27th which is Taylor's death date.

I don't cry every time I say it now, but I do still get that knot in my stomach and it occupies room in my brain.

So.....if any of you have any wonderful ideas on how to clear your brain and still get things accomplished in "crunch time", please let me know!!

Like I said....so much to do, so little time.....(and I'm using that time on Share!!

)

Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (7) | Permalink

PRECIOUS MEMORIES

Jun 05, 2011 09:28pm (EST)

Today, is my grandmother's birthday! She would've been 92 if she were still with us here on earth.

There are so many days when I miss her like crazy, and even almost 6 years later, I still find myself wanting to call her to talk. To me, that's the sign of a special woman!!

Grandmama had many grandchildren, great grandchildren, and great great grandchildren, and I never remember a time when she wasn't fair to any of us. The day that she died, I remember several of my cousins saying that she wanted to be fair to Taylor too, and now she's in Heaven playing with her. (spoiling her!!)

I find comfort in that picture.....both of my grandmothers have since passed and I can picture my little girl taking their hand and "showing them around" the streets of Heaven as they enter the gates.

June is month of memories for me....for today, they're sweet memories of my Grandmama!

Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (5) | Permalink

PICKED UP

Jun 02, 2011 02:21am (EST)

No, not like that......

My Share friends have onces again surrounded me when I needed it most. Last week, I received the news of school transfer. This transfer means much, much more than just a new faculty and staff.....most of which I don't want to get into on this blog, but my heart is still so heavy with this change.

In the midst of the news, I was suppose to be going to New York to meet with James and Jackie regarding some things about Share. New York is the last place that I wanted to be....I wanted to curl up in my bed and cry instead, but my email started filling up and each one from a different Share friend who just wanted me to know that I was in their thoughts. Did it change the news?? NOPE, but it helps to know that others are with you when things just suck!

I got on a plane when my old classroom was not even close to being ready to move, and headed to NY. I was greeted with a hug by Jackie first thing and soon afterwards, James. My idea was to live for 4 days in this "foreign land" and forget about what was happening in my small town life. It was just what I needed...

A short time after landing, I was face to face (or face to feet) with James' adorable boys and was learning about every character from Super Why. Seriously, these two are absolutely amazing!!

The following day Jackie and I were reunited with some SU friends who are on staff at the MOD office. Let me tell you that they're working hard on making all of the websites for March of Dimes better for everyone....including us, however this all takes time.....and tons of BRAIN POWER!! Again, thank you Judy, Michelle, and Liza for all that you do!!

From White Plains, we headed to Manhattan! Along the way, we find out that it's Fleet Week.....Marines and Sailors everywhere!!! That makes any city look great!

After walking a million miles, Jackie and I only saw half the city before meeting up with Jessica, her hubby and the beautiful Maddie for lunch! It took all of 2 minutes for Keith to comment about my accent, but hey---that's how it goes.

I will spare you the ticky details of our trip, but know that being in a city that I've only seen on TV and hanging out with friends that I met because my daughters were born early helped to focus my overwelmed brain in a different direction. I definately needed that....even though reality was only a plane ride back.

It sounds like I'm saying this with every post, but THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for being a group of friends that are there for me whether it's a situation with Ansley or a situation with me. You'll never know how much that means to me.

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Posted by Angel Love | Comments: (9) | Permalink

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