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MISSING PHOENIX

PHOENIX'S MOM

July 2010

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APRIL 7, 2007, WALKAMERICA

Apr 09, 2007 04:22pm (EST)

On Friday, I was excited that our walk was the next day until I seen snow flakes. That is right, I said snowflakes. It was snowing so hard that you couldn't see the house across the street. At that moment, I was concerned about the weather for Saturday. Saturday's weather called for snow flurries!!! I can't believe the weather, on Monday it was 85 degrees and then came the freeze warnings. Great!!! But the walk must go on. The morning of the walk was a crisp 23 degrees and very very windy. I thought that I would be OK in a turtleneck, sweatshirt, my walk t-shirt and gloves, but I was wrong. I had to break out the winter coat for this one. I can say that it didn't rain or snow. We were dry and I am thankful for that.

This year's walk was different for me. I had fun and I had a good time laughing at my sisters. I will say that when the 3 of us get together, we will have a good time. This was the second year for Phoenix's Phamily. We lost a couple of walkers but we made up for it in laughs. We didn't have many show up because of the weather. It was me, Jeromy, Lisa (my older sister), Toby (Lisa's husband), and Karen (my younger sister). My mother had surgery so she couldn't walk but she did raise some money. We raised $1477.00. We were down a little but I invested a lot of time and energy helping University of Louisville Hospital. Speaking of University of Louisville hospital.....they had 91 registered walkers!!!!! That is the largest team that they've had. Not all of them made it to the frozen tundra but they did surpass their goal of $15,000. Woohoo for them!!!! They placed 5th for the corporate teams. As for Phoenix's Phamily, I am not sure where we placed. We had 100 family teams this year. I am waiting to hear the final total for the walk.

Our team t-shirts didn't turn out like I wanted them and they didn't place this year at all. I don't have the art work to post but I will soon. U of L hospital placed 3rd with their shirt. I really can't say enough about them. I am so happy that they had so many take an interest in the MOD. As a future patient of U of L, I take comfort in knowing that they have many employees that believe in the mission that I am so passionate about.

The morning of walk, I had an important job that I took to heart. My job was to set up Angel Avenue. We took shirts and attached labels to them with a name of a baby that didn't make it. There are 32 babies in this area that don't make it to their first birthday. So we put out 32 small shirts to give a visual. I took this job on and took it to heart. Jeromy and I put them up the day of the walk also. We put them just around a corner near some tress and flowers that were blooming. It was a nice addition to the walk. The reaction that I got was positive and it shocked some. I remember each and every name that I attached to the shirts. My sister and I were walking behind a team that had a name on a shirt. I wanted to approach her but last year I didn't want to be bothered by anyone. But I wanted to make sure that she saw that her daughter was recognized. So I tapped one of the members on the shoulder and asked if she was mom. She pointed out who mom was. I quickly introduced myself and she did the same. I told her that I wanted to make sure that she saw that her daughter had a shirt. She asked if I did them and I told her yes. Then she asked if doing a project like that was healing for me? I told her that it was. I knew that it was her first walk and her loss was very fresh. Later I learned of her reaction. Karen told me that she was crying. I wished that I would have seen her crying so I could have offered a little comfort.

In my mind, this year was a celebration of Phoenix's life. I promised myself that I would laugh and have fun and I did. We laughed at Lisa because she looked like the little boy from Christmas Story ("I can't put my arms down"). But when Karen and Toby said they would be by my side if I wanted to walk the whole 4 miles in 23 degree weather, I got a little weepy. Needless to say we didn't walk the whole thing because asthma and cold air doesn't mix. We walked as far as we could.

I have to tell you that I got to meet another Share mom. I got to meet Amiee (Aileigh, her blog is Ryan). She is a very sweet person. She volunteered to work at our walk. I look forward to getting to know her better. I love meeting people, in my own backyard, that knows how great Share is.

Oh my goodness. I posted more than 3 pictures.. LOL!! The first two are of Angel Avenue. The third one is me with Phoenix's shirt. The fourth is Jeromy (in red) and Toby. The next one is Karen (in the Florida hat) and Lisa. The next one is Amiee and I. The last one is Karen dancing the Electric Slide.

Mommy misses you, Phoenix!!!!
Mommy loves you, Phoenix!!!!

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Posted by PHOENIX'S MOM | Comments: (18) | Permalink

WALKAMERICA 2007

Mar 18, 2007 06:21pm (EST)

April 7, 2007, is the day in Louisville. Last year's walk was emotional for us. Many tears were shed. Every step I took, I thought of Phoenix. I reflected on everyday that we had with him. I consider myself lucky to have had 7 weeks with him. The whole 4 miles were filled with the memories that we made with him. His sweet face is etched in my mind and in my heart forever.

The walk is something that I can do in his memory. I know that with each step I take, his life IS making a difference. Everytime I tell his story to someone to raise money, I also raise awareness. I have been taking extra steps to get more people involved. The last month I have been working with a local hospital to get them more involved. This hospital had a team but it wasn't very big. They have a level 3 NICU but most people in this town don't know it. I have been helping with their fundraiser and helping getting people signed up for their team (that's why I haven't been on much).

WalkAmerica 2007 will have a different meaning for me. Instead of morning my loss, I will be celebrating the life of Phoenix. I will draw from his strength to put a smile on my face and to laugh a little. Instead of hiding my face in shame, I will be holding it high and look around and enjoy the company of other's that attend. I will enjoy seeing the family t-shirts and cooperate t-shirts and take comfort in knowing that we are all there to save the smallest of lives. We will all be there to save babies.

There will be a special touch this year at our walk. We will have a memory mile. In Louisville, 32 babies pass away due to effects of prematurity. There will be 32 small t-shirts along the walk with names of babies that are no longer with us. I will be helping with this project. I hope that the memory mile will give someone comfort in knowing that their baby might not be with us but they are not forgotten. They will be forever in our hearts. I will post pictures of our phamily shirts when they are finished.

Before I go, there is one more thing, I have met many people from this site but I don't know but a couple in my own back yard and that has to change. Calling all Share mom's in Louisville.....If you would like to meet at WalkAmerica, I will be at the Family tent at 9:30am. Let's meet up and share with people that Share makes a difference!!!!!

Mommy misses you, Phoenix!!!!
Mommy loves you, Phoenix!!!!

Posted by PHOENIX'S MOM | Comments: (11) | Permalink

MY ANGEL COLLECTION

Feb 28, 2007 11:56am (EST)

Little did I know, that a year and half ago, that I would start an angel collection. I never had a collection of any type. When I came home from Phoenix's funeral, I looked at all of the angels that were sent. We had 21 sent to us. I really didn't know where I was going to put them. I had some people ask for them like they had a right to them. I still have ALL of them. I am glad that I do. I have them surrounding the pictures that we had at the funeral. Anytime I see one that I have to have, I buy it and add it to my collection.

I got a phone call last Thursday night, from Billy, that the Chief's grandmother had passed away. I was called because they couldn't get a hold of Jeromy. I wrote down the arrangements and froze when I found out that it was in the same place that Phoenix was. So I asked if the fire department was going to send something. Billy asked me if I could take care of it. Without thinking I agreed. A florist is half of the smell of a funeral home. GREAT! He said to send a plant of some type. Then Jeromy called, he is the president, with his directions. He said to send something that they could keep like an angel or blanket. Got it, no problem.

The next day, I had some MOD things to take care of and on my way home I stopped at the florist. First, I should tell you that I am a person who likes to see what I am sending. I leave little to chance and like to give direction on what I want. Needless to say, I felt sorry for the woman that was helping me. LOL!!! I told her my directions were to send something that they could keep and to send a plant. I had to think at what type of people the chief and his wife were. I really didn't know if they were plant people. I know that I'm not a plant person. I looked at the blankets and some other items. So, I called another man for advice. That was the wrong thing to do because he gave me another direction. I asked to see some angels. That is where my day changed. I have been in a rotten mood because of the time of year. This lady got the angels and sat them on the table one by one. I eliminated 3 right away. Then I started looking at them closer. My eyes became fixed on this one angel. This angel looked like Jeromy's favorite picture of Phoenix. In this picture it looks like Phoenix is blowing a kiss (in reality he was getting ready to pull his cannula out of his nose), but that is the way we look at it. My eyes teared up and in my mind I saw the picture of Phoenix. I kept trying to focus to pick out an angel for the chief. I couldn't until I told her that the angel blowing a kiss was coming home with me.

So, I have another angel for my collection. I have only added one to that collection until Thursday. It was too perfect. I might be crazy but I took it as another sign from Phoenix. I take it as him telling me that it is OK and that he knows that I haven't forgotten about him. It's things like that that get me through the rough days.

As for the viewing at the funeral home, I went. I got a couple of steps inside of the door (actually in the same room as the family) then I couldn't move anymore. As for Jeromy, he shocked me. He not only went in, he went up to the casket. I really didn't think he would walk in the door. He did a lot better than I did. I think that I can say that we are moving forward. It might be baby steps but it is forward. I am proud of Jeromy. Its all about not forgetting and moving forward.

Tell me, how perfect is this angel?

Mommy misses you, Phoenix!!!!
Mommy loves you, Phoenix!!!!

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Posted by PHOENIX'S MOM | Comments: (21) | Permalink

A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Feb 21, 2007 06:44pm (EST)

You may have heard the expression a time or two, "A light at the end of the tunnel". It is a beautiful saying. It is one of hope. Seeing the light is exciting. My light was lit two years ago. I found out that we were going to be parents. I was going to join the elite club, with my sisters, of motherhood. In a moment, all of bad habits went out of the window. It really wasn't hard to break the habits, I had a life growing inside of me and it was all about the baby. I was excited that my child was going to grow up in the same house that I did. The bedroom would be the one that I had as well.

Reflecting on this time isn't easy. It takes my breath away. This year was just as bad as last year. I knew it was coming but I kept it to myself. Jeromy hasn't been in the best of moods lately. He told me that he was in a funk. I knew why but I decided that I wasn't going to bring it up. But I knew that he knew and he wasn't going to bring it up. We kept it in our minds and in our hearts this year. Somethings are better left unsaid.

So, what happens when light that you are working towards goes out? The heartache sets in and you do your best to get through the day. Thats not good enough for me. I vowed to make a difference. Everyday I wake up and ask myself "what can I do to make that difference?" Somedays might not be productive and I have learned that that is OK.

My goal is to make it a little better for someone else. At first, I really didn't know how to accomplish that goal. Now, I am involved with many things that could help. My light did go out at the end of my tunnel but around the corner there was another tunnel to take and I made the choice to take that one. My tunnel is the grief that I live everyday. However, there is another light at the end of this tunnel. The light that I now see if very bright. That light is Share.

Mommy misses you, Phoenix!!!!
Mommy loves you, Phoenix!!!!

Posted by PHOENIX'S MOM | Comments: (19) | Permalink

A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Posted by PHOENIX'S MOM | Comments: (0) | Permalink

HAUNTING WORDS

Feb 14, 2007 03:50pm (EST)

I have been holding this in for sometime. I figured that maybe if I get it out that maybe I could move past it. I don't know but I am hoping that I can.

My BIL married this woman who is like 15 years older than him. I really never cared for her but I would socialize with her to keep peace in the family. I guess the best way to put it is that I tolerated her. When Phoenix went in for surgery, the family started showing up. I couldn't believe my eyes when this woman walked into the door. She's never made time to see us when things were good. When the doctors came back in to tell us that there wasn't nothing that they could do, her words are the first that I heard. As she pat me on the hand, "It is OK, you can have more." Just to remind you, at this point, I was told that I couldn't get pregnant again. I didn't allow her to come back to see Phoenix. She came to the funeral but people kept me away from her.

It has been almost a year and a half since I heard these words but I hear them over and over in my head. I haven't seen the woman since the funeral. I don't want to look at her. Those words come back to me like a reoccuring nightmare. I can't get rid of these words no matter what I do. Do some people think their children are replaceable? I really don't know what she was trying to achieve saying those words to me.

I want to let it go. I have forgiven people for bigger things lately but I can't get past this. Everytime I look at another child or baby those words haunt me. They are hanging over my head. I don't want to ever hear those words again. I want them to leave my head. I am trying to move through the healing process but I am stuck right here. I am thinking that I will never to forgive her for that. If I can't, I can't. But I do want to move past those haunting words. "It's OK, you can have more." So many things have been said to me I can't believe that those are the ones that I hear over and over.

Mommy misses you, Phoenix!!!!
Mommy loves you, Phoenix!!!!

Posted by PHOENIX'S MOM | Comments: (20) | Permalink

THERE IS A REASON WHY THEY CALL ME GRACE!!!

Feb 04, 2007 07:12pm (EST)

First, I am going to start with the good then I will get to the funny. A week ago Saturday, I got an letter from the Dean's office. It was sitting there all day and Jeromy didn't even tell me that it was there. When I found it, I turned it over and all I saw was the words "Dean's office". I thought, what did I do now? Well I opened it and it was a certificate, I made the Dean's List. I knew that I did but it feels better when you get something in the mail saying that you did. Along with it was an invite to join Pi Theta Kappa, a national honor society for community college students. I was impressed with myself. Needless to say, Jeromy is going to have it framed. That is the least that he could do since I am the one that frames all of his fire certificates. LOL!!!

My family calls me Grace and with good reason. If someone was going to get injured, it would be me. My doctor gave me my new motto, "If it's going to happen, then it will happen to her." My luck is bad but I am trying to make the best out of it. Jeromy was going out of town for work and I was going to be alone for a couple of days. Sometimes, I long for peace and quite. I was excited, so I made plans to clean out some closets. I have a lot of things that my dad had on the walls stuck in a closet and I wanted to get them out. I dropped Jeromy off, did some work on Share and then I was going to work. So I was taking the trash out into the garage. I have three steps that are in the garage. I put the trash down and down I went. I twisted my ankle and I heard snap, crackle, pop. Instantly, I felt like I was going to pass out. I grabbed for my phone and stayed on the floor for awhile. Jeromy hasn't been gone for 12 hours yet. I called my sister, Lisa. By the time she got to my house (which was about 30 minutes) my foot was swollen and black and blue. So off we go to the Immediate Care Center. We are laughing all the way there. This is not my first go around with my ankles. I have the worst ankles in the world. Doctor said that it was a severe sprain. Treatment was an air cast and crutches. If it doesn't get better in a week, than I am suppose to have it re x-rayed, sometimes fractures don't show up on the first x-ray. I am a pro on crutches. Starting at age 14, I was on them 8 times with ankle injuries, once with a broken knee, twice for knee surgery, once with a broken ankle and here I am again.

Once Jeromy called from out of town, he wanted to come home. I told him that I have done it before. It is my right foot but I can drive with my left (I did it for 6 weeks before). Blaze (my youngest dog) needs to be walked because we need to monitor his urine flow because of the kidney stones (I know that was way too much). In that moment I became Superwoman. I told him that I can take care of everything and it will be fine. It worked out that Blaze is scared of the crutches, bonus for me. He was an angel. Well it was suppose to snow here. We got maybe a half of an inch. I was hoping of more. I had a back up plan just in case it turned into ice. The hard part was convincing Jeromy that I could do it.

The bad part about it is that I am back in my TED hose (the lovely stocking that they give people with blood clots). I fought the doctor on that part. But after thinking about it for 24 hours, I gave in. I am inactive right now so I see his point. So I feel like I am right back where I started. But I know that it is only temporary. It is the small things that take you back.

Jeromy came home and we had a good laugh about it. Grace turned into Superwoman. I did show him that I could do it, but he knew that I could do it. Right now I am being treated like a princess. I am going to milk this for all its worth. I just wished that I could have enjoyed the snow that I have been waiting for. I did get to watch it for a little while from the comfort of my bed. I'm still laughing at myself.

My grandmother is going in for surgery on Tuesday and I have to take her to the hospital. She is having her knee replaced. I can see it now, I am the one going in on crutches and she is the one having surgery. I am thinking that the doctors will be a little confused. The only thing I've got going for me is that I don't look 77, but she doesn't either. Tuesday should be fun.

You can say one thing about me, I still have my humor. Thank God, no one has taken that away.

Mommy misses you, Phoenix!!!!
Mommy loves you, Phoenix!!!!

Posted by PHOENIX'S MOM | Comments: (12) | Permalink

GO, TAYLOR, GO!!!!!!

Jan 29, 2007 11:11pm (EST)

The weekend in Indy was interesting to say the least. I love spending time with my sisters. We don't get together like we should anymore. This trip included my brother in law, my mother and both nieces and nephew. We were all there to watch my 9 year old niece, Taylor, in her cheer competition. Who knew that a 9 year old would need a personal hair dresser to go with her.

I rode up with my older sister and Peyton, my 7 year old niece. We had to make a slight detour to Ohio so that Peyton could go to an audition. My niece's are into everything. After getting lost in Ohio we made it to the audition. I don't know if she got the part or not. Anyway, we made it to Indy without incident (when we got there was a different story). We found the hotel and decided to get something to eat. We started to pull out and I saw something in the road. I told Lisa that there was a median (that you couldn't drive over) and she would have to turn around. She said that she thought it looked flat. I told her that there was a median. So what does she do? She pulls out and decides that there is a median there and we were driving the wrong way in traffic. We laughed soooo hard. After living through that I decided that she wasn't driving anymore. I really don't know where both of my sister's learn to drive. I was glad to see the hotel when we returned.

Saturday morning, I do my part to get Taylor ready. My BIL and I look at the map to see where we are going. We decided that I will be sitting infront since my younger sister, Karen, can't read a map. Did I mention that they were directionly challenged as well? We get there without getting lost or without incident. No one could ever prepare me for what I was about to step into. I stepped into cheer he$$. I was surrounded by 500 teams of cheerleaders. Taylor is on a small youth team (ages 6-11). We watched some of the other teams. I was watching these girls in amazement. Karen says, "Wait until you see Taylor's team." These girls were throwing girls up in the air, holding them up, and flipping like there was no tomorrow. A few minutes before Taylor went on my stomach was in knots. I was nervous. First performance I watched, no pictures that time around. I was shocked. She was awesome. I can't believe what those girls could do. Of course, I was one of the crazy aunt's screaming with the rest of them. At the end of day one, they were in 5th place out of 35 teams. Day two is worth 2/3 of their score.

I had to get away by the end of the day. So I called Melody to rescue me for a little while. She brought along Tabby and we went to dinner. Again, we closed down the place. It was so nice to meet Tabby and spend time with Melody. We had a great time.

I WOKE UP SUNDAY MORNING TO 4 INCHES OF SNOW!!!!!!!! It was so peaceful. I sat and watched it for 20 minutes before I woke anyone else up. I was beautiful. I was so excited that I went over and snatched Peyton out of bed, she was still sleeping until she saw the snow. That is the only snow that I have seen this winter and I had to drive 2 hours to see it. We left a little early because of some football game that was being played and we were a little worried about the roads and finding a place to park. We drove two different cars and I drove my sister's van. Did I mention that she can't drive in snow either? I couldn't take any more close calls with my life. There were two teams in her class that was unbeatable. One came from Arizona and the other came from PA. If you travel from there to Indy, you know that you have a good team. Taylor's team pulled off a flawless performance. I tried to take pictures but I was cheering to much. At the end of the night, they came in third and she was happy. I wish that you all could see her. There are no words to describe it.

Lisa, is a football nut and she loves the Colts. So on the way home I had to drive around the dome three times so she could hear the cheers wailing from the kickoff. The things that I do for my sister's. I can't wait for the next competition. I am addicted. I will post pictures as soon as I can.

Everyone had fun. I was beaming with pride for Taylor. I can't believe she is growing up so fast. I got to see some snow, but there was no time to play in it. I had no voice for most of the week but it was all worth it.

I hope that everyone can make it for the live chat on Jan 30 at 3pm Eastern.

Mommy misses you, Phoenix!!!!
Mommy loves you, Phoenix!!!!

Posted by PHOENIX'S MOM | Comments: (9) | Permalink

TIME IS STANDING STILL

Jan 18, 2007 02:45am (EST)

I am convinced that time is standing still. Yet, I didn't realize this until the other day. Everyone knows that I have 2 nieces and one nephew on my side of the family. There is Taylor, Peyton and Kyle. I was talking to my little sister, Karen, the other day on the phone. She told me that Kyle was getting tested for kindergarten. It didn't register with me what she was really saying. I was comforting her telling her that he is a smart kid and he would be fine. Well the other day she called me back and told me that he got into kindergarten (they go to a private school and have to be accepted). The conversation went a little like this:

Karen: Hey, Kyle got into school.
Me: I told you that he wouldn't have a problem. Wait a minute!!! Did you say kindergarten?

Karen: Dah, Angi!!! That is what I have been telling you.
Me: But he is only 3!!!
Karen: Angi, he will be 5 in June.
Me: No he won't. He is 3!!
Karen: Do you know what year it is?
Me: Yes, it is 2007. I know that I haven't missed a birthday.
Karen: No, you haven't.
Me: Kyle is 3, Taylor is 7 and Peyton is 5.
Karen: No Angi. Kyle will be 5, Taylor will be 10 in Feb and Peyton is 7.
Me: That can't be right.
Karen: Where have you been? Where is your head?
Me: I guess I am still living in 2005. I am living in the past.
Karen: That is not an easy year to get past.
Me: I am such a bad aunt.

I have been thinking about this for a couple of days now. The youngest child in my family is starting school. Where is my head? Maybe in my head I don't want to move on. I hate to see New Year's come. It feels like another year away from my son. I can't believe that reality hit me in the face again. In my mind it is 2005 and Kyle will always be 3, Taylor will always be 7 and Peyton will always be 5. But in reality, I know that it is 2007. These poor kids will never grow up to me. I know that I have been living in a fog.

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This is going to be like 3 blogs in one. There is something that just bothers me. What I am about to tell you gets under my skin and stomps on my last nerve. Why is it when there is a police officer around people just act weird? Take this for example; you are driving on the expressway and there is a cop ahead. Why are people so scared to pass him? Everyone slows down (even if he is going under the speed limit) traffic builds up behind the cop. I hate that. Me, I'm not scared. I will pass them. I hate being in traffic because someone will do something stupid, it just never fails. If I get pulled over for passing him, I will go down in a blaze of glory. I've worked with cops and I know how they are.

Here is another thing. There is an accident, everyone slows down to look. That is the worst. That drives me insane. Is it the lights on top of the police cars that attracts people to look at it? Police officers put their pants on just like I do. They aren't the almighty. Why do people get so attracted to what they are doing?

Here is my point. Jeromy is talking to the Chief of Police. He is parked and Jeromy is out of our car talking to him in a parking lot. It is dark and rainy. The police car is dark blue and Jeromy is dressed in dark clothing. Our big red truck is parked next to the police car. Well, the guy pulls into the parking lot and he is so concerned with what is going on at the police car that he doesn't see the big red truck sitting next to it and hits our car. The Chief of Police is watching this happen. They are both speechless. They guy said that he saw the police car and Jeromy talking to him and he was concerned if everything is alright. Whatever was going on was none of his business. Because of this man trying to dip into Jeromy's koolaid, we are left with the headache of getting our car fixed. It is not an easy task dealing with insurance. One good thing is that we have the best witness.

Lesson: Don't be scared of police cars and concentrate on where to are going.

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I am sitting our of school this semester. I should say that I am not enrolled in traditional classes. To apply for the school of nursing there are some thing that I need to do besides traditional class. I have to get my certified nursing assistant certificate and I have to take ACT. There are only 3 places that I can go to to get that certification. All of the schedules conflicted with my school schedule. So I am taking the time to get those other things done. I guess you can say that I am still working towards it. I WILL finish. I am still soaking in my straight A's from last semester. I am keeping busy with things that are going on in the family too. I never get any rest.

I will be in Indy this weekend for another cheer competition. It would be the same weekend that the Colts have home field advantage. Just my luck. My older sister, Lisa, is a Colts nut. She wants to go into Downtown Indy just for the excitement. Woohoo!!! What fun. I told her that I would go. I don't know why. You all know me....if it doesn't have 4 wheels, goes fast and turns left, I don't care nothing about it. Which reminds me...Daytona is just around the corner!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, redneck moment. I just can't wait.

Mommy misses you, Phoenix!!!!
Mommy loves you, Phoenix!!!!

Posted by PHOENIX'S MOM | Comments: (12) | Permalink

SO THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO.....

Dec 18, 2006 01:26pm (EST)

Today has been a day of rest for me, we had a busy week. Jeromy has started a standby program at the fire department to have a crew there 24 hours. In return, the volunteers will get dinner provided for them. It nothing big but just something small since they don't get paid. Something that I have learned....most guys don't cook, well make that guys and girls. So, I took the time last week to cook for them. Now, they want me to cook every night. I don't think so. I love to cook, when I have time. If I am rushed to cook, then it makes me mad. We had the children's Christmas party on Saturday complete with Santa. Did you know that I am a personal friend of Santa's? Santa always ask for me by name. But it is hard to see him in his red suit. The department buys each child a toy and we have pizza. It's a fun time for them. Billy's daughter got a Curious George (the one that you tickle). I think that done me in. I survived but not without shedding a couple of tears in private.

Jeromy had a fire run early this morning and I do mean early. When he returned he woke me up and handed me this DVD that was put in his gear box. He told me that it was wrapped and it didn't have a tag on it. He said when he unwrapped it, he knew that it was mine. It was a Curious George movie DVD. I have been wanting that since it came out. I think that I have a clue who put it in there. It was wrapped in John Deere paper. There are only a couple of people who have items with that logo. It was very sweet. I really need to thank that person but they won't own up to it.

Since I got up early, I ran to Billy's laptop to see if my grades were posted. Still one grade outstanding. I knew that they were due today. Every horrible senerio was played in my head. I called the head of the department since he was working with us the day she didn't show to give our papers back. He said that he hasn't heard from her since last week. I thought great, all that work and I am going to get screwed!! He said that grades were due today by noon. He said that he would call her and call me back. Well a couple of hours went by and he did call back. he said that she just posted the grades and it might take 24 hours for them to post on the site. While he was saying this, I was logging into the site to see if it was there yet. I told him that it already posted and I thanked him. I sat there in disbelief for awhile. Why? There on the computer screen was 4 A's looking me in the face!!!! I couldn't believe it. I checked the name to make sure it was mine. I even logged off and logged back on to make sure. Guess what!! They were still there!!!! I did it!!! For the first time, I am proud of myself!!! I've NEVER made straight A's before. So, this is what it feels like to make straight A's. No wonder my little sister was happy all of time. But I can't take all of the credit. I worked really hard for the one person who taught me so much...Phoenix!!!! I did it for him.

Mommy misses you, Phoenix!!!!
Mommy loves you, Phoenix!!!!

Posted by PHOENIX'S MOM | Comments: (15) | Permalink

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