Journey to Motherhood

Emmie'sMom - 04:04am Jul 25, 2012 EST

In 2009, we were beyond excited to discover we were expecting!! We waited until our eight week doctor's visit to break the news to anyone, even our families. All was well, so we let everyone know. At 10 weeks, the spotting began. The baby still had a heartbeat and the ultrasound showed no issues. I was placed on bed rest at 11 weeks and the spotting continued off and on. At 12 weeks, I went in for another ultrasound where we were told that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. Devastated. We had a D&C performed and I went through depression, anger, the worst time of my life. I had no closure and no answers.

In 2010, we got pregnant again. On June 4, at 18 weeks, we learned we were expecting a girl. We left for vacation that next day and (of course) I did some shopping for our baby girl. Dresses, bows, pink, purple. I can't even put into words how I felt about a baby girl!! While on vacation, I noticed some issues and contacted the doctor. They assured me these symptoms were normal and not to worry. So, when I went in for my check up the next Wednesday after vacation, I asked them about my symptoms again and they decided to check. I can still remember, like it was yesterday, the look on the doctor's face and his voice, as he explained that I was 4cm dialated. No pain. No signs. Nothing. I was rushed to the closest hospital with NICU and there we learned that there was nothing that could be done and that eventually my body would show that I had an infection and the only possibility is to deliver her. A few days went by and sure enough, I developed a terrible infection in my uterus and she had to be delivered. I managed to gain the strength to deliver her and she was born at 21 weeks on Saturday, June 19, 2010. Emmalyn was absolutely beautiful. My husband and I held her. We talked to her. We enjoyed every second we had left with our beautiful daughter. She lived for just one short hour but we treausure that time with her.

One year later, we welcomed her healthy baby brother into this world. I am not a story of sadness. I am a story of hope. I'm a story of hope that there is a happy ending.