Iv failed my son
aprilfoolsbaby01 - 01:32pm Jul 10, 2012 ESTHello my name is Daisy and Im new here.
I had my son Bryan Alejandro at 24 wks 1 day hes my little April fools baby. He was born early due to a bad cervix I never knew I had he was born weighting barely a pound by and emergency c section. Hes my first baby and this is not how I wanted this to be. Worst thing is that he was transferred to Joe DiMaggio which is 2 hours away from me and it kills me. During my pregnancy I tried so hard to try to make it to full term but iv failed him and now that I can only go see him for awhile every Saturday it destroys me having to leave him and I feel worse that no matter how hard I tried I was forced to stop pumping due to my depression I feel like a failure of a mother.Today my little man is 100 days old and the docters said he wasnt suppose to live this long but thank God he has no brain bleeding and hes on nasal cpap now and weights a hefty 6lbs 9ounces and hes in an open crib not yet eating from a bottle.I wanted my son not to have any experience like this.I feel like there was a time where i went wrong in my pregnancy.I cant help but apologize to my son over and over its my fault hes in there and not with me he was due the 21 of july and I failed him.
Angel Love
- Jul 11, 2012 2:17 am
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Daisy~ Welcome to Share! I'm so sorry that you're having face such challenges with your son, but please try not to blame yourself....it's easier said than done. Staying strong for yourself and for your sweet little boy. Know that we're here to listen when things seem too tough!
Tracy 
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NathansMom13
- Jul 11, 2012 6:39 am
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Come to ShareUnion 2012: It's the BEST weekend ever!!! |
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Hi Daisy, welcome to Share. I am so sorry you are going through so much right now. Please know that what happened is not your fault. There was nothing you could have done differently to have prevented your early labor. I know it's easier for me to say than it is for you to believe but you need to forgive yourself. Nothing was your fault. We are always here for you.
Laura
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Jackie G
- Jul 14, 2012 12:42 pm
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Mom to a 25 weeker who is now 8 years old and a 38.5 weeker who is now 6 |
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Please know you have NOT failed your son. Things didn't go the way you had planned or hoped - that's why most of us found this website.
It's very difficult not to sit and wonder why this happened and what you could have done differently. But eventually you'll come to realize those answers aren't coming and it's more important to look forward rather than backwards. My preemie is now 8 and I still have guilt from time to time. But it helps to remember that I didn't do anything wrong. Nothing that happened was in my control and I just had to roll with the punches.
Sometimes it takes being out of the NICU to give you a different perspective, but you'll get there!
Best wishes,
Jackie
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