March of Dimes

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MY LITTLE BOY BORN AT 16 WEEKS.

Lizzy

September 2010

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ANOTHER UPDATE ON MY NIECE.

Apr 14, 2010 09:19pm (EST)

The good: she has pooed a few times so the lights are off her now, the hole in her heart is closing.

The bad: they had to put the cpap back on her today, and her heart rate keeps going down into the 50s every hour or so.

We are all still praying.

I can't help but think of my boys through all this. How Caden and Weston didn't get a chance to even fight. It kills me. It kills me so hard and i will never be able to change what happened. Or know why it happened.

My panic attacks + social anxiety are getting worse. My doctor seen me yesterday put me on Prozac for the panic attacks, and Inderal for the social anxiety. Inderal is a blood pressure med so it doesn't fully make sense to me. But he said that my blood pressure is low but not so low that he can't lower it some more. So if he says blood pressure meds will help my social anxiety well then, i am willing to try. He also gave me some Ativin to use only if needed. He doesn't want me on it daily because it can become addictive.

1. My joy
2. Faith earlier today trying to open her eyes. This was before she had to go back on the cpap.

Skylar

Faith

Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (1) | Permalink

SECOND UPDATE TODAY.

Apr 12, 2010 02:42pm (EST)

What i know right now is the lights were put back on her, they are still thinking about putting her back on cpap, she keeps stop breathing, she is choking on her feedings, and since last night her heart rate keeps going down to the 50s.

She is having a rough day.

Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (0) | Permalink

ANOTHER UPDATE.

Apr 12, 2010 11:28am (EST)

She was put back on the lights already. And last night she kept not breathing.

I can not even imagine everything she is having to go through. Every breath is a struggle. Breaks my heart!

Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (2) | Permalink

AN UPDATE ON FAITH.

Apr 11, 2010 07:34pm (EST)

She has jaundince but today they did take the covers off her eyes and the lights off.

She is anemic so they don't want to take any more blood from her.

She is breathing room air right now.

There is a hole in her heart but they gave her meds and they will do a ultrasound tomorrow to see if that worked.

They just called my brother to say that she is forgetting how to breathe so they will give her caffeine to see if that helps.

So far nothing major. We are all praying everyday. Poor little girl.

I will keep everyone updated. My emotions are calming down thank God. They were all over the first two days.

Skylar has a cold so i am taking a break from the hospital. I do not want to get Faith sick, and Skylar needs her momma to help her feel better.

Pics.
1. Skylar praying for Faith and all NICU babies.
2. Faith day 2.
3. Faith day 4.

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Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (0) | Permalink

FAITH ELIZABETH.

Apr 09, 2010 04:31am (EST)

Yesterday at 11am my little niece was born.. 100 days early. She was not due until July 18th but came April 8th. She weighs 2 pounds. They transferred her to Dupunt Hospital in Fort Wayne (Indiana). I visited my sister in law and brother yesterday. She is doing well physically. She had a really bad UTI which triggered labor and when she got to the hospital she was already 9-10 dilated so they could not stop it.

I get to see little Faith today, which excites and scares me. I know it will look scary, i know all the things that could happen. I have been on this site for 3 years, i know all the dangers. I am so angry that this has happened. I am sad that she has to fight so hard being so little. I am hurt and as wrong as it may sound even jealous. That God has given her a chance when my boys never got the chance to fight. I am angry at myself for feeling that way but it is something i can't control. But i am trying to just focus on Faith and her getting strong. This isn't about me or my feelings so i need to push those aside and be strong for them.

I have 2 pictures the nurses took before they took her to Dupunt. I took pics of the pics.. so here is little Faith. Please pray for her!

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Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (3) | Permalink

MARCH.

Mar 25, 2010 02:54am (EST)

Is very hectic. 3/4/10 My daughter Skylar turned 10. 10!!! I can't believe how grown up she is getting. 3/18/10 James & I celebrated our 8 year wedding anniversary. I love him so very much, my amazing Hubba! 3/22/10 I turned.. 28, yes i feel old haha. March has always been such a great month. Filled with so much love.

But now... This is the first year that March is sad for us. Well not the whole month but at least 1 very sad day. Our 3rd child "Weston" was due 3/11/10. I should have a newborn right now. It blows my mind and rips my heart to think that right now i should have a 10 year old, a 2 year & 10 months old, & a newborn. Why??

Do not get me wrong, i love life. I love my family. But i will always have a sadness in my heart, an ache in my heart, and a longing i will never be able to explain.

1. Brooke, Rachel, Skylar, Alanis at Skys Chuckie Cheese party.
2. Skylar with Chuckie.
3. Took some Easter things out to Caden.

Skylar and friends

Sky and Chuckie

Cadens Easter

Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (0) | Permalink

SPOKE TO SOON.. AGAIN.

Feb 24, 2010 11:09pm (EST)

Don't know why i cramped for so many days before i started but, i did start just now.

Sometimes i hate my body, it hasn't been able to carry babies right since Skylar and it gives me false hope all the time.

Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (4) | Permalink

I DON'T WANT TO GET EXCITED BECAUSE..

Feb 23, 2010 09:28pm (EST)

I have had many false alarms in the past. Seriously i can honestly say i've been late and thought "maybe" at least 2 dozen times since having my daughter almost 10 years ago. And out of those 2 dozen i only really was twice. But, i am now 7 days late, have been cramping for 9 days with no spotting or bleeding, been feeling nauseated as well. A HPT came back negative though on Thursday. So i will just have to wait and see.

Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (3) | Permalink

Feb 22, 2010 12:34am (EST)

Yes we got our snow! We are actually about to get a 3rd snowstorm in 2/3 weeks. I'm personally loving it but others.. not so much. I think i'm alone in my snowy love lol. As i sit here i can see 3 children sleeping. Skylar, and my niece Milee, and nephew Kaden. I'm keeping Milee & Kaden until March 5th due to my brother in law having moving difficulties. I enjoy having them with me. But looking at them right now makes me sad. March 4th is Skylars 10th birthday and March 11th was my due date for Weston. So on March 11th i should have a 10 year old (Skylar), a 2 1/2 year old (Caden, because even though he just had his 3rd angel birthday in January his due date wasn't until June) and my little newborn (Weston). My 3 children. Of course i do HAVE my 3 children but only 1 is with me. That is always horribly sad to me. I've been thinking a lot lately. I wish i had a big family, wish i could still have a big family. I know that anything is possible but i also know my track record. Some days i think "okay i can be happy with just Skylar, and my angels, and being an aunt" but then right away i say "no no please God one more child". So we are trying, have been for a few months. I'm 5 days late but it seems like every month lately i'm late a couple days or a week. I really took for granted how easily i was able to get pregnant and have Skylar.

Ps. I know me wanting another child may be a selfish thing. That some people out there can't have a child, or have had many losses and no live children. I have had the great experiences of being pregnant 3 times, of having a live healthy child, and of getting to hold an angel in my arms. So yes, it may be selfish of me but, i have always imagined having a family of 3,4, or 5 children. So i guess it just hurts when i think about what i wanted and what God wanted for me. But on the other hand i trust in HIM. It is all so confusing sometimes.

Pss. I have leaned that my 14th niece or nephew is.. to be.. a niece. Yep my brothers first child, my 11th niece! (Only have 3 nephews!) They had two ultrasounds at 2 different places (because shes leaking amniotic fluid?) and they both showed on the ultrasound that she is indeed a girl. BTW the tests they did showed she had plenty of amniotic fluid. So we do not know yet what this means.

Psss! My old friend Samantha who i haven't seen since i was 16 gave birth to her 6th child on the 19th. She has 4 boys and 1 other girl, the girl, Haylie sadly passed away at a week old from complications from an infection. I was visiting my mother who lives far away up where Sam lives and i knew she would be in the hospital (we reconnected through myspace) so i went there and saw her and her baby. Also met her husband. (: The little one is so cute, she was 6 pounds 12 ounces 19 inches, yet un-named.

Pssss.. Sorry i keep remembering things. We got our taxes back and this was finally a year where we weren't having troubles and had to spend a major portion of it towards bills. So we kinda blew some of it but it felt nice. Skylar and i bought a mini laptop to share and we each got tmobile phones. (So she can call me when she is not home.) James got himself some Nikes and clothes and spruced up the car and spoiled us on Valentines day. Oh and Sky got herself a new pet a guinea pig. And yes we did put some back. 1,500.00 for emergencies.

Picture 1. Sams new baby
Picture 2. Skylar and my niece Milee
Picture 3. Kaden my nephew (I just gave him that mohawk today, with his moms permission of course!)

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Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (3) | Permalink

REAL FAST.

Feb 08, 2010 11:54pm (EST)

Just a quick update.

Thank you for the well wishes, i'm happy to report we all got over the flu pretty quickly. About a week after Skylar and i got better my husband caught it but was better in 2 days.

The circus was so much fun! All the kids had a great time, my hubba and i did as well. It was 3 hours of pure amazement on the kids' part.

Skylar and i got shorter haircuts. Like hers is super short and mine barely touches my shoulders (after it being to the middle of my back). So a big change for us. I'll post pictures soon.

Andd another snowstorm? I live in Indiana and over the weekend we were supposed to get 4 inches or more but only ended up with 1-2. Now another bigger one? I heard it was supposed to start at 8pm, then midnight, now it's 1:49am and i don't see no snow yet. I hope we get a lot. I love snowww. I was disapointed when we didnt get 4 inches lol.

I would stay and write more but im so tired. Hopefully i'll find time soon to come on and elaborate more about new things in my life. Thanks as always for reading! Goodnight.

Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (2) | Permalink

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