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WELCOME, GUEST |
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(2 members)
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stacyat6 |
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kyla'smom6 |
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MY LITTLE BOY BORN AT 16 WEEKS.
Lizzy |
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| Category: Home | Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 |
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SPOKE TO SOON.. AGAIN.
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Feb 24, 2010 11:09pm (EST)
Don't know why i cramped for so many days before i started but, i did start just now.  Sometimes i hate my body, it hasn't been able to carry babies right since Skylar and it gives me false hope all the time.
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Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (4) | Permalink
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I DON'T WANT TO GET EXCITED BECAUSE..
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Feb 23, 2010 09:28pm (EST)
I have had many false alarms in the past. Seriously i can honestly say i've been late and thought "maybe" at least 2 dozen times since having my daughter almost 10 years ago. And out of those 2 dozen i only really was twice. But, i am now 7 days late, have been cramping for 9 days with no spotting or bleeding, been feeling nauseated as well. A HPT came back negative though on Thursday. So i will just have to wait and see.
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Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (3) | Permalink
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(:
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Feb 22, 2010 12:34am (EST)
Yes we got our snow! We are actually about to get a 3rd snowstorm in 2/3 weeks. I'm personally loving it but others.. not so much. I think i'm alone in my snowy love lol. As i sit here i can see 3 children sleeping. Skylar, and my niece Milee, and nephew Kaden. I'm keeping Milee & Kaden until March 5th due to my brother in law having moving difficulties. I enjoy having them with me. But looking at them right now makes me sad. March 4th is Skylars 10th birthday and March 11th was my due date for Weston. So on March 11th i should have a 10 year old (Skylar), a 3 1/2 year old (Caden) and my little newborn (Weston). My 3 children. Of course i do HAVE my 3 children but only 1 is with me. That is always horribly sad to me. I've been thinking a lot lately. I wish i had a big family, wish i could still have a big family. I know that anything is possible but i also know my track record. Some days i think "okay i can be happy with just Skylar, and my angels, and being an aunt" but then right away i say "no no please God one more child". So we are trying, have been for a few months. I'm 5 days late but it seems like every month lately i'm late a couple days or a week. I really took for granted how easily i was able to get pregnant and have Skylar.
Ps. I know me wanting another child may be a selfish thing. That some people out there can't have a child, or have had many losses and no live children. I have had the great experiences of being pregnant 3 times, of having a live healthy child, and of getting to hold an angel in my arms. So yes, it may be selfish of me but, i have always imagined having a family of 3,4, or 5 children. So i guess it just hurts when i think about what i wanted and what God wanted for me. But on the other hand i trust in HIM. It is all so confusing sometimes.
Pss. I have leaned that my 14th niece or nephew is.. to be.. a niece. Yep my brothers first child, my 11th niece! (Only have 3 nephews!) They had two ultrasounds at 2 different places (because shes leaking amniotic fluid?) and they both showed on the ultrasound that she is indeed a girl. BTW the tests they did showed she had plenty of amniotic fluid. So we do not know yet what this means.
Psss! My old friend Samantha who i haven't seen since i was 16 gave birth to her 6th child on the 19th. She has 4 boys and 1 other girl, the girl, Haylie sadly passed away at a week old from complications from an infection. I was visiting my mother who lives far away up where Sam lives and i knew she would be in the hospital (we reconnected through myspace) so i went there and saw her and her baby. Also met her husband. (: The little one is so cute, she was 6 pounds 12 ounces 19 inches, yet un-named.
Pssss.. Sorry i keep remembering things. We got our taxes back and this was finally a year where we weren't having troubles and had to spend a major portion of it towards bills. So we kinda blew some of it but it felt nice. Skylar and i bought a mini laptop to share and we each got tmobile phones. (So she can call me when she is not home.) James got himself some Nikes and clothes and spruced up the car and spoiled us on Valentines day. Oh and Sky got herself a new pet a guinea pig. And yes we did put some back. 1,500.00 for emergencies.
Picture 1. Sams new baby
Picture 2. Skylar and my niece Milee
Picture 3. Kaden my nephew (I just gave him that mohawk today, with his moms permission of course!)
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Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (3) | Permalink
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REAL FAST.
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Feb 08, 2010 11:54pm (EST)
Just a quick update.
Thank you for the well wishes, i'm happy to report we all got over the flu pretty quickly. About a week after Skylar and i got better my husband caught it but was better in 2 days.
The circus was so much fun! All the kids had a great time, my hubba and i did as well. It was 3 hours of pure amazement on the kids' part.
Skylar and i got shorter haircuts. Like hers is super short and mine barely touches my shoulders (after it being to the middle of my back). So a big change for us. I'll post pictures soon.
Andd another snowstorm? I live in Indiana and over the weekend we were supposed to get 4 inches or more but only ended up with 1-2. Now another bigger one? I heard it was supposed to start at 8pm, then midnight, now it's 1:49am and i don't see no snow yet. I hope we get a lot. I love snowww. I was disapointed when we didnt get 4 inches lol.
I would stay and write more but im so tired. Hopefully i'll find time soon to come on and elaborate more about new things in my life. Thanks as always for reading! Goodnight.
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Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (2) | Permalink
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A SIGN FROM CADEN?
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Jan 08, 2010 06:15am (EST)
We had a winter storm yesterday/last night so at 6am the phone rang it was the automated school function that calls when theres a delay or anything and they said 2 hour delay. Just got another call, schools closed. So Skylar and i think this was Cadens way of me having Skylar with me today on Cadens birthday.  Oh how i miss him! Trying to hold back tears. This time exactly 3 years ago i was 2 hours into my 12 hour labor with Caden. (He was born into Heaven at 6pm.) Its confusing how i can smile and cry and think good things and think bad things within the 2 minutes it taking me to write this.
Please keep my family in your prayers today. And send Caden some hugs & kisses.
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Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (7) | Permalink
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I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.
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Jan 07, 2010 08:51am (EST)
Cadens 3rd angel birthday is tomorrow. How bad i want to say Cadens birthday is tomorrow, not angel birthday. Why do i have to celebrate without him here. Just thinking about it makes me angry. I am so angry today. It's not fair. And i hate that i feel angry but i can't stop it. One minute i'm  the next i'm . It's so emotional for me when it's close.
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Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (4) | Permalink
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ROUGH MOMENTS.
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Dec 27, 2009 10:36pm (EST)
They are starting to rear thier ugly heads. You know what i'm talking about? You are going along fine, you think things are better, that you are better and then BAM. A thought occurs, an event occurs, something that takes you right back to that moment when you felt so low you didn't think you would make it.
Randomly checking emails today i had one from memory-of.com.. i had made a memorial page for our Caden after he passed. They had a free trial and then i think i paid the 4.95 or whatever to keep it going for a month and then when that month was up and the page went down i kinda forgot about it. Well they sent me an email saying they know angelversaries are hard and that they were putting his page back up for 19 days. So i went to it. And read everything i wrote. Looked at the pictures. What got me the worst was all the candles i lit for him, what i said when i lit them. What my family said. It took me right back to that moment. God, i feel horrible right now. I mean i'm glad they put it back up, and i'm going to try to get the 45.95 to keep it up a year. I don't know if any of you play SPP on myspace? But you can buy gold items with real money, and i have tons that i traded for, so now i'm trying to sell them through paypal to get the 45.95 to keep it up before the 19 days are up. Hopefully i can do it. I added Westons name and story to the page.
http://caden-george.memory-of.com/about.aspx
I miss them so much. I can not believe that it is still this hard sometimes. Still this painful. That i can still get this angry at God and my body. That no matter how much i say "don't cry, DO NOT CRY" in my head that i can't stop the tears from comming. And to make it worse, so much time has went by, no one really talks about him anymore. So i feel like i shouldn't. I mean, i do sometimes to my husband and daughter. And my mom still buys things for him. But besides my mom, husband, and daughter.. and then i don't ever want them to know the true depth of my pain even after almost 3 years. I don't want to drag them back in time with me. Do i make any sense?
I took many pictures over Christmas (you all should know by now im a picture nut).. but i only want to post this one right now.
Miss you so much.
So so much.
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Posted by Lizzy | Comments: (3) | Permalink
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